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Posts Tagged ‘interpersonal’

a row of chess pieces ordered in descending rank

This post is meant as a wake-up call for lifelong complainers and excuse-makers.

When you look at someone who has what you want, do you ever try to rationalize away his success?

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various emotional expressions

Of course some degree of self-awareness is natural, but if you are stuck inside your head more often than you would like, unable to express yourself authentically and unabashedly to others, then here are a few ideas you may find useful.

1) Let yourself ease into it. Whether early in the morning at work or early in the night at the club, take it easy. Even if everyone around you is already chatty, laughing, having fun, and you feel like you don’t belong, still give yourself time to shift gears into social mode. You don’t have to go racing out onto the track from the get-go. Realize that most people need time to warm up the engine, as it were, before they can go for a spin.

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Be Cool

sunglasses

As regular readers of my blog might know, I have started to go out, a lot. Initially I only went out with friends, but eventually I started to go out by myself sometimes and just make friends on the fly. Why do I do it? For one thing, it’s fun. Really fun. Maybe not always, but one thing I’ve realized about myself is that I am a natural introvert and if I don’t go to the gym and get out of the house regularly, I get stuck in my head. If you are also an introvert, you know that being stuck in your head is not fun. It is anti-fun. It sucks.

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Be a Good Friend

Handshake

When your perceived situation is much better than your friend’s, it is easy to be generous. You can give him abundant support because doing so does not threaten your sense of security. You may even willingly lower yourself to lift your friend from below. So it is no surprise when a married woman is eager to set up her single friends, or when a successful entrepreneur is enthusiastic about training his protégé.

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A broken mirror

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
-Wayne Gretzky

I still remember it well…

Friday night. I’m in the middle of another move having just spent the last 5 hours assembling furniture, when Jake suggests a night on the town.

*****

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Behind castle walls

Words can hurt much more than sticks and stones. They can stab your heart deeper than the sharpest stick. They can pound your resolve harder than the heaviest stone. But they can also lift your spirits more than any amount of material wealth. Words have the incredible power to create or destroy belief by focusing or distorting the lenses through which you view the world.

So how do you recover from an ambush of two-faced slander? How do you deflect a barrage of insults? How do you defend against a sustained siege of condescension?

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Water surface

Relationships, whether romantic or not, take work. When you enter into one with somebody, not only do none of your problems go away, but you inherit theirs as well. And when you find yourself beleaguered by too many of your own problems, it may feel nigh impossible to lend a helping hand. You may find it easier to be selfish, to focus solely on yourself.

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