Choose to Take the Journey

Of course some degree of self-awareness is natural, but if you are stuck inside your head more often than you would like, unable to express yourself authentically and unabashedly to others, then here are a few ideas you may find useful.

1) Let yourself ease into it. Whether early in the morning at work or early in the night at the club, take it easy. Even if everyone around you is already chatty, laughing, having fun, and you feel like you don’t belong, still give yourself time to shift gears into social mode. You don’t have to go racing out onto the track from the get-go. Realize that most people need time to warm up the engine, as it were, before they can go for a spin.

2) Don’t let the environment determine your behavior. In other words, don’t try to fit in. You will never feel more self-conscious as when you are trying to fit in, either with your surroundings or with your conversational partner(s). You are literally handing over your emotional sovereignty to an external power instead of acting out of your own self-determination. Act, don’t react.

3) Get used to it. The more you talk, the more talkative you become. The more you go out, the more social you become. Some of your inhibitions will be released by simple virtue of boredom.

4) Let go of your self-image. Whether you think you’re a shy guy or a casanova, an eccentric intellectual or the class clown, let go of your need to manage how others perceive you. Many minorities especially have a hard time with this because they overly concern themselves with whether or not they fit or contradict a social stereotype. Purge this poison from your mind. You are you. You are a fluid, dynamic individual. Sometimes introverted, sometimes extroverted. Colorful and charismatic at times, meek and monochromatic at other times. If you try to live up to a certain identity, you will necessarily constrain the full range of your uniquely nuanced personality.

5) Be non-judgmental. You may think that judging others puts you in the higher position, but often it is just a reflection of your own fear of being judged yourself. Break free of this mental prison. Express yourself without fear of judgment because you allow others to do the same. Judgment is a 2-way street.

6) Get fit. A weak body begets a weak mind, full of paranoia, insecurity, and restlessness. Quiet the mental chatter with a wholesome diet and aerobic exercise. As far as trying to maintain good eye contact and body language, don’t busy yourself with such details while socializing. Allow it to flow naturally from an internal fountainhead of optimism, integrity, and good health.

Interestingly enough, you can apply the same 6 ideas to writing, and indeed any creative activity.

1. I allow myself to ease into my writing by simply fleshing out a single idea.
2. Regardless of the environment, whether it be my mom’s house, a teahouse, or the dentist’s office, I am able to write.
3. I get over my fear of writing by doing it so much that I just get used to it.
4. I let go of the perfectionist inside myself by putting out a blog post, not when it’s flawless, but when it’s good enough.
5. I try not to judge my blog posts. Whether I end up with literary genius or alphabet soup, I choose to feel good because of my act of creation.
6. I work out and eat healthy at least 5 days a week because it sets the tone for everything else that I do.