Choose to Take the Journey

In my experience, I’ve found only 2 ways to effectively deal with jealousy.  Fortunately (or unfortunately), some of my friends are better-looking than me, taller than me, make more money than me, and are more popular with the ladies…

…Not that it’s a competition, but let’s face it, sometimes it is.  And sometimes, it sure feels like you’re getting creamed.

One way to deal with jealousy is to tear the other person down.  Diffuse.  Detract.  Talk trash.  Obviously this is a very low-level way of coping, but sometimes you can’t help it and boy, does it feel good, am I right?

Just kidding.  Or, perhaps, half-kidding.

The other way to deal with it is to empty yourself out.  Steven Pressfield talks about thinking in terms of “territory” instead of “hierarchy.”  That is, instead of being anxious about where you stand relative to your peers, focus on your area of passion or expertise–whether that’s the gym, your social life, or your writing desk.  While I agree with him, I’ve found it more effective to think in simpler terms.

Imagine waking up each morning as a car with a full tank of gas.  If you empty yourself out by the end of the day, you’ll be happy, or at least you can allow yourself to be happy because you’ve made progress.  It takes fuel to be jealous–to feel upset and inadequate.  But if you hit the road often enough (i.e. get to work), you’ll have neither the time nor the energy to be jealous.  That’s why if your day consisted entirely of watching TV, shopping, and checking Facebook, you have trouble sleeping at night.  It’s because you’re not emptied out.  Too much fuel in the tank.  After all, cars are meant to be driven.

I don’t know if this is actually how our emotions work.  I just know it works for me, so maybe it’ll work for you too.  It’s like that peculiar expression: “Philosophy is for people with too much time on their hands.”

So if you find yourself in the throes of jealousy, stop thinking so much and get to work!