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Archive for the ‘Get The Girl!’ Category

Summer Rain

When I was single in New York, I loved it. I had already decided I would be ok being single for the rest of my life and could even live happily that way. But there were some nights that were out-of-the-blue brutal, especially in the summer, where I was like “Fuuuuuuu…. I just wish I had someone right now.” That was when I wrote out this poem, line by line, and unlike my usual writing style, left it unedited. I wanted to honor it for what it was: an outpouring of emotion, in written form.

Peaches on the table
Clothes on the floor
A tippy-tap at the window
And no one at the door.

A continual burning
Of a candlelit flame
And the warmth of your body
Amidst the cool summer rain.

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rough texture

Đẹp Trai Không Bằng Chay Mặt.
Good-looks Don’t Trump a Calloused Face
-Vietnamese (Street) Proverb

I had dinner with a friend last night, a friend who happens to be good-looking, fun, successful, and a massive pimp (or used to be)–sorry ladies, he’s taken.  And we started discussing why some of our mutual friends were successful with women–either happily married or SBC (Single By Choice)–while others were unmarried and SNBC.

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The title to this piece may seem to fly in the face of street sense and even hard-thought wisdom, but allow me to elaborate.

For now, let’s set aside the “Master Your Mind” part of the equation.

Many guys, including those whom I consider to be among my most respected and well-loved friends, readily grasp that getting the girl cannot be had without stepping up. That is to say, they understand you can’t have something for nothing.  You want the princess?  Go become the prince.

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money talks

Pimping ain’t easy. You got to be always on the make, ready to catch. Your next broad might come from the coffee shop, the subway, or even the elevator–you never know.

When she comes, don’t think she going to be down on you just because you’re a pimp; you got to bring your Game. Start yammering from the get-go. When a chick turns to ice, it’s just because she don’t know where you from or what you about. Don’t hate. Just understand something: the longer you flow, the more chance for your conversation to click.

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chemistry, colored flasks

I see it over and over again. Some well-intentioned guy comes in and hits on one of my coworkers: “Hey, I think you’re cute.” He spits out his résumé unsolicited: “I’m a lawyer.” Then he immediately goes for the close: “Can I take you out for dinner sometime?” I’ve seen the same misinformed courtship ritual play out countless times at my local watering hole and at the clubs downtown.

It never works.

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red speedometer

“You’re either first or you’re last.”
-Ricky Bobby from Talladega Nights

When I first heard this, I laughed because of its silly black-or-white stance on life. Obviously life comprises at least 50 shades of grey. But is that really true?

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sexy silhouette

She’s hot. Smokin’ hot. She’s the most attractive girl you’ve ever been with and she knows it. She will use all manner of temptation, of provocation, of seduction to distract you from your purpose.

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