When your perceived situation is much better than your friend’s, it is easy to be generous. You can give him abundant support because doing so does not threaten your sense of security. You may even willingly lower yourself to lift your friend from below. So it is no surprise when a married woman is eager to set up her single friends, or when a successful entrepreneur is enthusiastic about training his protégé.
What is not easy is to help a friend who you perceive to be a formidable competitor. A man who is chronically single may hate on his friend who often goes on dates. A businesswoman may view her colleagues’ accomplishments as threats to her own standing within her field. It’s hard to be happy for a successful friend who is on his way to becoming even more successful. It’s hard to pump up his ego with praise when your own feels deflated. But a good friend will give support, rain or shine.
I am not suggesting that you subordinate yourself. I am also not suggesting that you sacrifice your own ambitions in favor of another’s. What I am suggesting is that you stay focused on your own journey. Do not overly concern yourself with how you stack up against others. Sometimes it’s helpful to do a quick check on your peers, but for the most part, you need to stay focused on your own journey. If you and your friend are on the same path and he is ahead of you, rather than dwell in jealousy, choose to learn from him. Be an active listener and ask questions so you can understand the distinctions that have made him more skillful than you. For his insights, at the very least you owe him the service of sharing in his celebrations of triumph. If you can also encourage him to go further, all the better. Drop the ego. Trash the mindset of “It’s every man for himself.” Instead, build a symbiotic, mutually nourishing relationship that will carry the both of you to greater heights than either of you could have achieved on your own. Be a good friend, and you may very well end up with a good friend in return.
Choose to Take the Journey 
Great post. Using the competition as a source of inspiration and motivation to improve is better than focus on destroying them. The rival provides a signpost for what is possible to aspire to. Better to have a focus for aspiration than nothing at all.