Frustration. Confusion. Fear. What do I do? What’s the right answer? What’s the right course of action? Why can’t I figure this out? What’s the lesson? What am I missing?
Those were the thoughts running through my head a few days ago, and in fact, once a week for the last couple of months. And I am grateful for them. In the moment, no matter how despondent I feel, I tell myself that I am on the verge of another breakthrough, another epiphany, another 1% distinction that will allow me to take another step on my walk to freedom. My current modus operandi is to intentionally shove myself outside of my comfort zone, expand it, feel amazing for it, then shove myself out again.
I liken frustration to walking through a dark forest and repeatedly banging your head into the same trees. You must not allow yourself to give up and return to your little meadow of comfort. You must make the decision to remain shrouded in darkness until a few cracks of light break through the thicket to reveal the way. Whenever you choose to bear the frustration until you can push through, you will be met by an equal or greater degree of corresponding freedom. This is the source of core confidence. It is not the surface confidence that relies on a lavish display of peacock feathers, but rather a deep-level confidence rooted in the strength of a wolf. Not what you have (e.g. nice clothes, trophy wife, social title), but instead what you can do, that is, your ability to keep it together and move forward.
It is your competency in making money that makes you powerful, not the money itself. It is your vitality that makes you attractive, not the pretty girl on your arm. It is your charisma that gives you influence, not your accumulated accolades. It is your ever expanding sense of freedom that grants you the confidence to say what you want, do what you feel, and go wherever you please. So the next time you find yourself grasping for light in the dark unknown, thank your lucky stars that you have another opportunity to solidify your core.
Choose to Take the Journey 
I agree with your distinction between “core” and “surface” confidences. They are entirely different. And just because we may have one of them does not necessarily mean we possess the other.
Another great post, Blogger Bestie ;)
Thanks for affirming me blogger bestie :)
Perhaps living life is a “becoming” rather than in any sense of completion, a work in progress until death.