Choose to Take the Journey

People often know that they should assert themselves and yet all too often they don’t.  There are a number of reasons:

1) We don’t think we’ll get what we want.

If you don’t try, you won’t know.  You may think you know, but what if you’re wrong?  What kind of life would you be missing out on if that were the case?  So go for it anyway.

2) We don’t want to keep the other person from getting what they want.

Unless you have dependents, such as children you have to raise, you are only responsible for your own life.  Other people are responsible for their own lives.  Don’t worry about them.  Just do what’s in your best interests and they’ll pipe up if there’s a problem.

3) We don’t know what we want!

Unless you know where you’re going, the chances of getting there are zero to none, maybe nada if you’re lucky.  You must have a sense of personal boundaries: what you will and won’t accept into your life.  Whenever someone pushes beyond one of those boundaries, it’s time to push back.  But you must figure out where your boundaries are to have any ground to stand on when you push back.

4) Fear

Asserting yourself can be scary, especially if they’re someone close to you.  You don’t want to ruin the relationship or create tension when you can just ignore the boundary transgression.  But if you give them a chance, they will do it again simply because it’s easy to do so.  And it will only get easier with time—the ball has been set in motion.

You would do the same if the roles were reversed.  You may not mean to but you can’t help it.  It’s human nature.  We will get away with as much as we can if doing so will make our own lives easier.

//Can you think of any other reasons people don’t assert themselves?  I’d love to hear about it.  Comment below.