Choose to Take the Journey

We all need a home, a source of constancy, a place to return to in order to gather strength, clarity, and equanimity. There are 3 homes with which to concern yourself.

The first home is your Home Team. These are the people you associate with and with whom you surround yourself. They act as your support, your competition, and your inspiration. As an introvert, I know far too intimately the comfort and pleasure of keeping to oneself, slowly transforming into a Zen-level hermit, but your home team can never be neglected. If you ask, “What’s the point? Why can’t I just spend all my free time on myself?” I will say this:

While it’s true that you have to set aside time for yourself, and that very often you will have to say ‘No’ to your friends in order to say ‘Yes’ to your creative work, you will still need teammates who will pick you up when you are down. Who will push you faster than you would like to go. Who will call you out on your laziness and indulgent self-pity. I have a couple of friends who do just this, checking up on me regularly to make sure I do whatever it is I say I’m going to do, and I return the favor in kind.

The best way to rally such a home team around you, I’ve found, is to focus on win-win interactions. Think about how you might work with others toward mutual and synergistic benefit. Surely, if it were not for the pleasure of knowing you are reading this, I would not even bother to write it.

The second home is your Home Turf. This is your apartment that you live in; the office that you work in; the cafés, restaurants, parks, beaches, and various venues that you frequent. A squalid, disorderly, or hostile home turf will cause you undue stress and mental strain. Remember, this is your home! You are in charge of cultivating it, like a gardener tends to his garden, so that you may feel comfortable, secure, and inspired. Don’t worry about what has come before or getting permission for what may come after. Simply develop your garden according to your own liking.

And if weeds take root? Sometimes it can’t be helped: the ongoing construction outside your apartment, the social abrasiveness of a coworker, the mismanagement of your hitherto favorite bar. If your home turf has been compromised and you are unable to make a change for the time being, then take great care to build this up:

Your Inner Home. This is the home that resides within you: the integrity of your structure, the adaptability of your immune system, the physiology of your blood. You may not always be able to avoid exposure to environmental poisons, but you can inoculate yourself with a strong body and a focused mind. Lean meats, essential oils, a rainbow of vegetables, and plenty of water. Aerobic exercise, meditation, weight-training, restful sleep, and even the occasional massage.

You ask which home is most important to a happy life? Just as Mother Nature does not play favorites among her children of the earth, the sea, and the sky, so too you should patronize all 3 homes with equal oversight: your Home Team, your Home Turf, and your Inner Home.

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Live a Life of Balance