Choose to Take the Journey

“I won’t eat it,” I said as I pushed it to the edge of the plate with my fork.

Like most children, I loathed vegetables, especially broccoli. I thought it tasted bitter and the texture of the florets against my tongue felt like I was putting dirt into my mouth. Like most parents, my mom had tried (and failed) to get me to eat it. The battle was a hard-fought one. She assaulted me with her words. She cornered me in my room. She tried getting broccoli into my stomach by camouflaging them with melted-cheese, or stir-frying and cloaking them in oyster sauce. One time she even cut off my access to the dinner table, but as soon as she saw that I wouldn’t hesitate to starve myself, she finally conceded to working around my finicky palate. Yet by the following week, I was eating not only broccoli, but almost any vegetable that she put on my plate.

What had changed?

When I hit puberty, acne became my biggest concern. I still remember our family doctor telling me (at my mom’s behest, I’m sure), “You can do what you want, but if you don’t eat your broccoli and continue to gorge on greasy foods, you’ll be making your acne worse.”

Later on at the supermarket, I admonished my mom, “Don’t forget the broccoli!”

“I won’t, dear,” she said. “Remember that if you don’t eat it, you’ll get more of these.” She pointed at her face in several places with her index finger to illustrate where I might get my next pimple. “But it’s up to you.”

And just like that, I became a broccoli enthusiast and have been ever since. I may have won the first few battles, but my mom had won the war.

So what’s the secret to getting someone to do what you want? It’s nothing more than getting them to want to do it of their own accord. No coercion. No trickery. No draconian punishment. Just handing them the ball and showing them the basket.