It seems whenever I let myself go even for just a few days (assuming I hadn’t planned to), something falls apart–I get fat, I make a mistake at work, I get fat, I forget how to write, I get bored, I get depressed, I begin ruminating on past injustices, I have to do damage control on a relationship, damage control on a friendship, damage control on my dog, who has gotten fat–you get the idea.
When I stick to the plan, everything clicks. I’m content and even-keeled. My body delivers on the energy I need. I do my work. I do my writing. I do other things… and I fit into my jeans! And my dog looks good! And I look good! And everything is so good!–so why–WHY–do I ever let myself go? Why does anyone let themselves go? I’m still trying to figure that out…
But the answer seems to do with payoff. Things you have to do, have an immediate and/or guaranteed payoff: food, money, pleasure, stress relief, a sense of completion. Things you ought to do, have an uncertain payoff. Is this book even going to get published? Am I even going to lose weight? Am I going to just get rejected? Am I just WASTING MY TIME?
Still, I find the alternative–a kind of relentless ennui–to be far worse. So I get back on that train and I get back to work. And you know what? It gets easier. That hollowness we all sometimes feel shrinks another 1%. And you feel better because for today at least, you’ve made progress. Don’t worry about tomorrow yet. Just one step at a time, one foot in front of the other.
Choose to Take the Journey 
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