Choose to Take the Journey

Video game addiction. You typically see it among young intelligent males with low self-esteem. They play for several hours a day until the wee hours of the night, neglecting school, work, their health, and a real world social life. If you restrict their game-playing, they often become depressed, irritable, and resentful. They may verbally and even physically lash out at loved ones at the slightest provocation. How do I know? Because I used to be one of them. Unfortunately, video game addiction is an increasingly common phenomenon worldwide.

People often ask, “What would compel someone to withdraw from the real world?” Instead they should ask, “What would compel someone to withdraw from the virtual world?” If an individual thinks he is low man on the totem pole without hope of ascension, why wouldn’t he remain online where he is an orc lord or a sniper extraordinaire? It might sound like I’m being facetious, but I’m not. The situation is not that different from someone who turns to alcohol abuse. Their transient joy may be delusional, but the return on their actions still exceeds what reality has to offer, or at least that’s the rationale.

If you have an addiction, the first step to overcoming it is to admit you have a problem. Like boozing, gaming is a quick, easy, and dirty way to make yourself feel good. There is nothing inherently wrong with either of those activities as long as it is in moderation. Realize that your actions in the real world not only yield bigger payoffs, but ones that are deeper, more fulfilling, and longer-lasting. Your sense of self-worth will grow and along with it your sense of peace, power, and freedom. I know firsthand that depression makes it difficult to believe that change is possible, but you must do whatever it takes to work yourself into a frenzy, if need be, in order to begin taking action.

In my opinion, and take it for what it’s worth, there are essentially 4 stages of self-worth. People float in and out of the different stages at different times, but generally you want to spend most of your time in the final stage.

Stage 1 – Denial
As I mentioned earlier, you cannot even begin the process of change until you first accept that you need to change and that you can change. If you have some kind of addiction that is interfering with your daily life, you must first admit that you suck. I admitted it, and I am a better man for it. At this stage, your worldview is focused on escape.

Stage 2 – Habituation
People intimidate you. Get around them. Interact with them. Let yourself get rejected, blown off, ridiculed, and laughed at. It will be scary and painful, but eventually you will get used to it. After all is said and done, you will still be alive and you will realize that your capacity to “take it” is pretty much limitless. At this stage, your worldview is focused on other people.

Stage 3 – The Rat Race
Work out. Make money. Doll yourself up. Make more money. Do more stuff. See more stuff. Be seen. Unfortunately, we will all fall into this mindset at some point in our lives because that is the nature of our society. Most people will never move beyond this point. At this stage, your worldview is focused on stimulation and validation. Thank you Mark Zuckerberg.

Stage 4 – Seeking Mastery
You find joy within yourself, not only through meditation (which definitely helps), but especially through taking action. The continual reaffirmation of your purpose is what keeps you awake. The struggle to stay the course no matter what is what makes you feel alive. At this stage, your worldview is focused not on the spoils of war, or even the glory of it all, but on the call to battle each and every day.